Santa wouldn't have a chance in politically correct era

Political correctness has reached a point where it affects almost every facet of our lives. And as the holidays approach, we all struggle, in the workplace and in our social circles, with how to be politically correct in our celebrations. According to Sherron Kenton, senior lecturer in the business school, political correctness may have progressed to the point that the end result is a very boring culture.

"In our attempts to be non-offensive, we have become non-descriptive, even inaccurate in our communication," said Kenton. "Around the holidays we are so concerned about being inappropriate that we offer no greeting or good wishes at all. Our good intentions result in bad perceptions. Most of us would rather be perceived as good intentioned and politically incorrect than simply indifferent."

Face it. If Santa Claus showed up for the first time in 1995 as the proposed symbol for Christmas (a politically incorrect holiday in some circles), he wouldn't have a chance. Within the Santa Claus persona, you have an example of almost every type of political incorrectness possible.

As evidenced by his leather belt and boots with white fur trim, he advocates the murder of animals and the pilfering of their skins for his own adornment. He exploits the vertically challenged, forcing elves into non-union labor conditions similar to Third World countries. He's happy to have Ms. Claus shackled to her cold, isolated home, bogged down in patriarchal oppression, never fulfilling her potential. Apparently unaware of good nutrition and the need for an exercise regimen, he's overweight and has rosy cheeks (the sign of an alcohol problem or hypertension). And ignoring smoking bans everywhere, he puffs away on his pipe.

Like Herbert Hoover and his famed F.B.I., Santa Claus keeps a list of everyone who has been acting in accordance with his wishes, assuming he knows the difference between bad and good. He is a peeping tom (he sees you when you're sleeping, after all), and he breaks into houses at night (after being caught three times in some states, he'd be in jail for life). He exploits flying reindeer as a mode of transportation, forcing them to travel around the entire world in just one night.

His coming is used as a tool of parental control, and he encourages greed among children. Fulfilling his own middle class guilt (perhaps just a pawn of the media-driven toy dynasty), he hands out toys, encouraging a dependency on the false comforts of a materialistic world.

Above all, he's a white male. Need we say more?

But there is the flip side. He is an active person who defies ageist stereotypes. He has come to terms with his own body image. He gives without expecting anything in return. He conserves energy, driving a non-gasoline-powered vehicle. He doesn't require government funding. And, best of all, he gives without regard to race, creed, color or national origin.

--Nancy Spitler