* Bring a low-fat alternative (such as a vegetable or fruit platter) with you to holiday parties.
* Drink as much water as you can hold--at parties and throughout the day. It will curb your appetite and dilute the effects of alcohol.
* If you must eat candy, make it hard varieties instead of chocolates. Although high in sugar, hard candy is virtually fat-free.
* When gift-shopping, park at the far end of the lot. The walk will provide you with exercise, you'll save gas and you'll avoid the tension of chasing that impossible dream: a parking place by the mall entrance. For safety's sake, remember to make frequent trips back to the car to stow packages in the trunk (maybe even change your parking place each time). Don't wait until you are so laden with bags that you are a tempting target for a parking lot thief.
* Donate party leftovers, cookies, candy and other high calorie foods to the local soup kitchen, where they will provide a rare treat to those in need.
* Make your holiday parties activity oriented, rather than food oriented. Go skating, skiing, swimming, dancing, bowling or walking with friends and family--anything other than pigging out on rich food, sugary cookies and alcohol.
* Use Grandma's fruitcake as free weights.
There is no such thing as "the perfect family." All families have problems. Some have more to contend with than others, however, and the holiday season is notorious for intensifying feelings of estrangement and friction. Divorced or widowed parents (and their kids) struggle with feelings of failure and grief in the face of powerful memories of "how it used to be;" family members who are separated from each other (whether out of choice or involuntarily) wrestle with a sense of loss that is intensified by relentless images of joyous holiday homecomings. And of course, those who have lost a family member face uniquely acute pain.
Frequently, we have unrealistic expectations of our families at holiday times: our parents (who always fight) won't fight; our cousin (who never comes to family gatherings) will come; our significant other (who has the worst taste in the world) will present us with the ideal gift. Remember, the people you love from January to November, are who they are. No miraculous change occurs simply because the calendar flips a page to December. Concentrate on your family's strengths rather than their shortcomings, accept them as they really are, and you will be able to celebrate in a comparatively tension-free manner.
Regardless of one's religious affiliation (or lack of it), wanting to feel part of something larger than oneself is a universal experience. A sense of moral purpose is key to spiritual health--and hence, part of overall wellness. When the loudest voice at this time of year seems to be that of Madison Avenue, maintaining contact with values such as selflessness, generosity and gratitude for blessings is challenging indeed.
If your spiritual sensibilities need renewal, few things work as well as taking the time to do for others. It's trite but true; helping those less fortunate reminds us how lucky we are. So volunteer at a homeless shelter. Serve a meal in a soup kitchen. Take an abused child for a drive to look at Christmas lights. Go caroling at a nursing home. Agree with one person to exchange donations to a charitable organization, rather than exchanging gifts. Examine your holiday behavior in light of your deepest values; express your love for others not only with gifts... and the cynical forces conspiring to commercialize the holidays won't be able to touch you.
Mary Krueger is the coordinator of health education for the University Health Service. The Wellness column is coordinated by the Seretean Center for Health Promotion.