Release date: April 19, 2002
Contact: Nancy Seideman, Director, University Media Relations,
at 404-727-0640 or nseidem@emory.edu

Feeling "Out of It" Socially?
New Book Provides Help for Awkward Adults

Adults who have trouble establishing and maintaining good relationships at work and in their personal lives – but can't figure out why – may lack the non-verbal communication skills that are essential to social success, according to a new book by two Emory University psychologists.

Emory psychology professors Marshall Duke and Steve Nowicki Jr. give hope to socially awkward adults with the release of their new book "Will I Ever Fit In? The Breakthrough Program for Conquering Adult Dyssemia," published by The Free Press, a division of Simon & Schuster.

Their answer is "Yes, you can." Duke and Nowicki, clinical psychologists and nonverbal communication experts, have developed a proactive program to help certain adults overcome their inability to pick up on social cues many people take for granted. "Will I Ever Fit In?" focuses on ways to treat varying forms of adult dyssemia, a term they coined to describe the inability to read or properly project nonverbal messages.

"As adults, we don't comment on or attempt to correct another adult's inappropriate, or annoying social behavior as we would with children. It would be an affront to them. It's usually a case of nobody will tell you, but everybody knows," Duke says. As a result, adults with dyssemia tend to remain clueless about their behavior.

One example the authors give is of the friendly coworker who never seems to pick up on the body language or facial expressions that others give him when they are too busy to talk. Over time, his behavior annoys and alienates his colleagues.

Dyssemia is a condition that does not require professional psychological help, but is one that people can work on themselves – with help from others, Duke says. The book is designed for people to assess the degree to which they might be troubled by dyssemia, then develop a program with a coach to help modify their behavior.

"You have to find someone to serve as a mirror to your behavior and provide a reflection you can trust," Duke says.

The goal of the program outlined in the book is to help adults with dyssemia overcome their poor non-verbal communication behavior and develop better relationships with others, Duke says. "Understanding and using nonverbal language is essential to having healthy, productive relationships," he says.

Duke and Nowicki's new work builds on their previous research with children and dyssemia, detailed in their best-selling books "Teaching Your Child the Language of Social Success" (Peachtree Publishers,1996), and "Helping the Child Who Doesn't Fit In" (Peachtree Publishers,1992).

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