Emory
Report homepage
October 31 , 2005
Family
meals important to children’s emotional health
By Beth Kurylo
Research by two Emory psychology professors shows that
families who regularly share meals together have children who know
more about their family history and tend to have higher self-esteem,
interact better with their pee∫rs and show higher resilience
in the face of adversity. In addition, families who openly discuss
emotions associated with negative events, such as the death of a
relative or a pet, have children with a higher self-esteem and sense
of control.
The findings come from the Family Narratives Project,
directed by Robyn Fivush and Marshall Duke, faculty fellows at the
Center for
Myth and Ritual in American
Life (MARIAL). The three-year study focused on 40 families from metro Atlanta
who tape-recorded dinnertime conversations and answered questions that allowed
researchers to measure how well the family functions. Each family had one pre-adolescent
between the ages of 9 and 12. More than 120 hours of recorded conversation were
analyzed.
“We were particularly interested in the transition into adolescence, which
is critical for identity and for self-concept,” said Fivush, Samuel Candler
Dobbs Professor of Psychology. “Adolescence can also be a period of great
stress for the family. So we wanted to know what skills and strengths the child
is coming into that period with.”
Each family discussed both a positive event and a negative
event they shared together. Researchers analyzed routine dinner-table
interactions and the kinds
of stories that emerged in conversations. They also asked the children “Do
you know?” questions, developed by Duke to measure how much children know
about their family histories (such as how their parents met, where their grandparents
grew up and went to school, etc.).
Two years later, when the children were ages 11–14,
researchers visited
families again.
“The power of the family stories and the family history is really remarkable,” Fivush
said. “There seems to be something that’s particularly important
about children knowing where they came from in a larger sense and having a sense
of family history and a family place.”
It’s not only what the families say, but how
they talk about events together that is important, she continued.
Almost every dinnertime conversation began
with parents asking the child how was school that day. Eventually, the conversation
often turned to “remote events,” such as a family trip to Disney
World or a visit to Grandma’s house.
Children benefit when parents listen to them and validate
what they say and how they feel, Duke and Fivush said. This is particularly
true when discussing a
negative event—say, the death of a grandparent. Resilience is nurtured
when the child understands that negative events don’t define the family
history, and children also learn how to cope with the inevitable ups and downs
of life.
“As the family talks about things,” said Duke, Charles Howard Candler
Professor of Psychology, “I think they are teaching the kids about assessment,
about appraisal: ‘How bad is this? How good is this?’”
Duke worries that many families have abandoned the
family meal, and may be losing the benefits that help nurture resilient
children. “The time we spend with
the family at the dinner times should be held sacred,” he said.
For more information on MARIAL research, go to: http://www.marial.emory.edu/.
TOP